why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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