are you still at the devil's house?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
