Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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