Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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