so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
