Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He shit in the fireplace
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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