Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
