One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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