HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
