We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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