jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
