Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
