You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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