I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
