At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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