whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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