It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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