Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
