i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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