Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
