i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
