Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
