omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I love having hate sex.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
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