just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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