Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
