He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My ass is underappreciated
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
