why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
