I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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