She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
