It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
