Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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