All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
