you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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