What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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