If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
