That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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