she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
