it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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