Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
