Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
