Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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