New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
