At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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