Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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