talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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