bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I enjoy the company of your penis
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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