I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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