so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
