I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
