I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
