No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
