everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
