gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
