I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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