East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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